Reciprocation
By Mukunda Goswami
On 13 December 1973, at the Los Angeles temple, during the observance of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s disappearance day, you concluded your lecture with a startling revelation. You described feeling “horrified” after dreaming several times that Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Maharaja was calling you to take sannyasa. The atmosphere in the temple room changed palpably. Devotees present witnessed tears streaming from your eyes as your voice turned gravelly with emotion and you uttered the words, “You are helping me.” A brief pause followed. Then, overwhelmed by a surge of transcendental emotion, you stood silent. Those gathered had never seen anything quite like it. It was an unforgettable moment.
In earlier years, you had sometimes exhibited intense anger when confronting impersonalists—those who posed as devotional individuals but veiled their true philosophical leanings. Yet such displays of vulnerability, such open gratitude, were rare and witnessed only by a fortunate few. Your moods would often vary, alternating between warm kindness and stern confrontation, depending on your audience—their age, gender, nationality, or philosophical orientation. In truth, your manner was deeply responsive to time, place, and circumstance.
In The Nectar of Devotion, Krsna expresses his indebtedness to Draupadi for calling out to Him with the words “He Govinda.” This moment serves as an indirect indication that Krsna feels bound to recognise and reciprocate such surrender. It highlights a universal truth: all people have a psychological need to feel valued.
Srila Prabhupada emphasised this principle in practical terms. He urged ISKCON leaders to discuss their differences openly and thoroughly—“threadbare,” he said—until a deeper understanding was reached. He also instructed that the philosophical principle of acintya-bhedabheda-tattva (inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference) should be examined each year in Mayapur. The underlying theme of these instructions was mutual appreciation. Reciprocation, he implied, is not only an emotional necessity but also a spiritual one.
Without it, life can become humdrum—or worse, disheartening. Indeed, some have withdrawn from frontline preaching in ISKCON, or left the movement entirely, due to feeling undervalued or ignored. A grateful person acknowledges the beneficial actions of others; gratitude is a sign of spiritual maturity.
In the Mahabharata, Krsna states: “When I was away from Draupadi, she cried with the words, ‘He Govinda!’ This call for Me has put Me in her debt, and that indebtedness is gradually increasing in My heart.” Though you were often stern, uncompromising, and even—on the surface—rigid or severe, your kindness and sense of indebtedness were always present. Such is the nature of a true sadhu.
In this way, you became, in a very real sense, a master of reciprocation.